'Tis the season to quit people pleasing.
It may feel awkward at first, and you may notice some new level of guilt-ish feelings (those will eventually go away - I promise!), but you should always focus on committing to habits that are right for you. I highlight always above because very rarely am I saying to *always* do something, but in this case, putting yourself first and not committing to projects or tasks that you don't want to is your ticket to living, thriving, & enjoying your life.
Here are four ways you can start directly saying no:
Be specific about what you want to eliminate. Write down what you want to eliminate from your workplace or life. Review your calendar & reflect on your To Do list, too. Based on your future goals, what do you need to eliminate that is irrelevant to your future goals? Pay close attention to things that are regularly part of your schedule. Perhaps there was a period of time when you committed to a task or a project, but you might have outgrown that task. What are you willing to give up so you can do more of something else?
Replace the negative habits with a positive one. Be specific on what you want more of in your life! Who is it that you want to spend more time with? What specific ideas do you want to execute more on? How often do you want to exercise per week? Avoid ambiguity and get crystal clear on what you want more of. The more specific you are about what you don’t want, the more likely you are to achieve more YES’S.
Be transparent about your new habits & new boundaries to your closest friends, family, coworkers. The more people know about your plans or vision, the more likely they are to understand them. This is a big reason why having an accountability buddy is so helpful in your professional and personal life. For example, if you want to eliminate alcohol from your life, tell your friends and family so they know not to ask you for a cocktail after work or during the holidays.
Commit to creating new new habits. You might have been trained to saying yes to everything.... Not anymore! Your default answer should be to say NO. In the beginning of this transition, practice the art of saying NO. While you do not have to say it to person asking you, you can say “thanks so much for the offer to be included, when do you need to know the answer?” OR “I love this idea, can I get back to you depending on my bandwidth and if I am able to take more on projects?
Above all else, celebrate your no’s. We tend to focus on the successes in our life such as accolades, promotions, weddings, a home purchase, money earned, graduating from school, but look beyond this! Celebrate your own PERSONAL GROWTH, such as setting boundaries and only saying yes to things that make sense to you.... Remember: What got you here, will not get you to the next level. You need to constantly be learning how to break bad habits in order to reach your new level of success.
Join us on Sunday December 13th @ 5pmPST-6:30pmPST as we focus on tools, techniques, & strategies on how to thrive in 2021. This is NOT a goal setting workshop, in fact, I should call it the anti-goal workshop for 2021! Our focus will be on how to set your year up for success by building better habits month-by-month. I've been running this workshop for four years, and this is the first time I am opening up to EVERYONE! Bring your friends :) Click HERE to Enroll
Always with you,
Ashlee
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Ashlee Klevens Hayes, PharmD, MHA
Career Expert + Interview Prep Coach
e: HELLO@RXASHLEE.COM
(SHE/HER/HERS)
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