How to Confidently Draw Boundaries At Work (and in your life!) Without Feeling Guilty
Setting boundaries is going to be your new ticket to living a GUILT FREE life.
And, although, it tends to have a sneaky way of making us feel a little bit selfish about reclaiming our time and energy, setting crystal clear boundaries is one of the TOP secrets to success.
The truth is no one can do all of the things.
We have seasons in our life where we can be THE best friend, the best partner or parent, the best sister or brother, and the best employee.
But there are seasons in life where we have to focus on ourselves and do what we can to get through challenging phases.
I’ve previously written a blog on why you should make no your best friend, and that is such an important part to setting boundaries here too! That blog was specifically referring to how to say yes or no to certain opportunities, but this blog is going to be about how to maintain your boundaries.
Today we’re going to get REAL deep and talk about how to let go of the unnecessary guilt you are placing on yourself when you do form boundaries.
WHAT ARE BOUNDARIES AND WHY YOU SHOULD SET THEM
Think about the phrase: “give a man an inch and he’ll take a mile”
To me, the only way someone takes a mile if you’re trying to give them an inch is if you didn’t set the right boundaries in place.
Okay, maybe they will still take several extra inches – but, with the right boundaries confidently enforced, they’ll never make it to a mike.
Setting boundaries means that you’re putting systems in place to prevent you from taking on too much or overcommitting. Allow us to put up limits to what we can emotionally, physically take on as an individual – at work and in our personal lives.
As professionals, setting boundaries can be tough! We want to please our clients, team, and management. Saying no just sounds like you’re not being a team player, right? Wrong!
When you need to create boundaries after a pattern has been established that you’re being the person to stay late, get projects done in a tight turnaround, it can be hard not to feel guilty.
In fact, a lot of people feel like being a “good person” means that they shouldn’t prioritize themselves. I found this quote from a Psychology Today article very telling:
“People whose beliefs are motivated by guilt often fail to set necessary boundaries in their relationships. This guilt comes from believing that prioritizing oneself over others is wrong.”
Boundaries should be formed to prevent overwhelm and protects us from experiencing burnout. They’re a safety net that you may need to set up months after you’ve realized a boundary has been crossed.
So let’s talk about how you can go about setting boundaries without feeling guilty.
3 STEPS TO DROP THE GUILT WHEN FORMING A BOUNDARY:
First, you should be able to answer -
Why are you forming these boundaries?
Why are these boundaries important to you?
What is at stake if you do not maintain these boundaries?
The second phase of this process is to SHARE these new boundaries with friends, family, and coworkers. Practicing radical transparency in your life will ultimately lead you to living as the healthiest and best version of yourself. The guilt will be relinquished. I know this can seem daunting, but practice the “new boundaries” discussion with a few friends at first. Then you can slowly implement everything in the workplace.
Finally, make sure you are frequently revisiting how you feel, how well the boundaries have been enforced, and when/why you’ve made exceptions. You can also take a look at any progress you’ve made and see how much your successes have to do with the new boundaries!
So once you implement these secrets (that are no longer a secret!), circle back with me and let me know how they helped you!
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